Journey to Real Empathy – Heart vs Head

Aug 4th, 2016

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Category: PnH

Journey to Real Empathy – Heart vs Head

We can be thrown for a whirlwind when we hear news that is painful, hurtful, or plain out-right heartbreaking! We know the descriptions, we get that knot in our throat, our chest locks up, we get chills or shakes or simply the flood gates open, the tears stream like a river! Wow, what a beautiful empathetic loving people we can be.

Yes, truth is we inherently are all compassionate beings, whether we wall it off or not that’s a different story.

It’s easy to see this when we are babies; if we see others laugh we start to laugh, if others cry, you can easily start to see the non-crying baby start crying. We grow, and because of our filters instead of feeling, we go to our head and start asking questions and analyzing. Why are they crying? What is wrong? Who’s fault is it? Do I agree, as to why they are crying? Does this merit them crying in public? How awkward is this, what do I do, what should I do? You have probably been in this situation and it is clear in this depiction that we can safely say we live out of our hearts and in our heads in these current times! As babies, we were just a container of energy influenced by our environment and energy that surrounded us.

As we grew, we stepped out of heart and started living more from our head.

That doesn’t mean, nor am I saying we are heartless today, I am simply stating that we critique, judge, or justify things 1st before we allow to feel a lot more than in the past.

Here’s a question: is it correct to say, that when we see people easily moved and touched by others they are more heart led than others? Well in my experience not necessarily. I will share a personal story to illustrate my experience. I have this great friend, one of the most loving beings I’ve ever known, most would judge him on surface though as a cold person. He taught me that

when I feel a need to help or take care of, or protect another it is probably, NOT always, yet highly likely the unresolved issue within me that is connected, moved, and touched in that circumstance

. I remember being defensive, stating NO! I sincerely like to help others when I see them in need! He then when on to explain that he was not negating that fact, and that truly a part of me was truly empathetic or compassionate to help. Yet, he challenged me, he asked given the circumstances you have experienced would you not agree if you answer honestly, you are more compelled to help people that suffer what you have been through? I was a bit stumped, he proceeded to illustrate for example why are some so fiercely and arduously engulfed in helping rape victims, other abused children, others those in poverty, some live helping immigrants, others refugees and the list goes on and on. Most usually help in areas that they where once affected in or exposed to.

Without realizing most are trying to make right a piece within themselves.

This is usually a subconscious motive, we truly often think we are doing it from our heart yet once again, there is a deep rooted motive behind it. He went on to explain that it is not saying that we are not being loving in our actions. It would serve us to reflect why we do what we do, why we are moved in the areas that we are, to get to know what is deep within for within lies endless knowledge and power of the self. We ended our conversation with me conceding that maybe that was true, that I would consider what he was saying. That was around the year 2010, little did I know what a POWERFUL tool this conversation would be in the summer of 2015!! In the summer 2015 I would have an incident pull on the strings of my heart, my being, deep in to my memory bank that it would have me react with uncontrollable hurt and pain, the type that gets deemed as a panic attack or resemblance of PTSD!! It is the understanding of this one awesome conversation that would guide me out of the panic attack and would bring healing, a redeeming, empowering completion to a past event that is built the foundation of who I AM today.

I know we all are busy with our daily lives, so I will pause here, and in part 2 I will share one of the greatest tools that serves me to make all past hurts my stepping stones to EMPOWERMENT, PEACE, and HAPPINESS!!! Until then Breathe easy <3

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